Mom time

Last Sunday my neighbor Becky and I went to Starbucks after our kids went to bed and just hung out and caught up.  It was so wonderful.  When Ella and Helena were infants (they are 4 months apart), Becky and I would switch their carseats into one of our cars and drive all over Austin together--going to lunch at Uppercrust or taking a Mommy/Baby yoga class.  I can't believe it's been 3 years since we've done that!

When we had our first kids, I was the one giving Becky pep talks and advice, since I was a few months ahead on the parenting journey.  Now, her second is almost 1 1/2 and Haddie is only 4 months, so she's been busy filling me in on what to expect with two little ones and also lending an ear as I work out all the "new" that this season has brought.

She said several things that made great sense, and one thing that just about took the wind out of me with its simplicity and poignancy for my life.  We were talking about parenthood, wanting more kids or not,  how children change your life and marriage...you know, light conversation on a fun girls' night out. Ha.  We both came to the conclusion that exhaustion will be a constant in this life stage.  And then Becky went on to say that one thing she had learned in having her two kids is that she is flat out going to be exhausted, so she can be exhausted and mean, impatient and grumpy, or she can be exhausted and play with and enjoy her kids.  That if they jump on her back, she should just play with them.

Poignant. Simple. This is my new truth.

It's both easy and difficult to behave my way into success with this.  Easy because I'm home all day, so the opportunities are plentiful to just enjoy Ella and Haddie.  Man, they are fun.  Difficult because I'm home all day so the opportunities are equally as plentiful to backslide and be impatient with them.  I've succeeded and failed in equal measure so far, I think, but then again I feel happier and more peaceful this week.  More of each day is spent in enjoyment and less and less in frustration.  I think that counts for something.  And even better, I've found myself in actual wonderment of them on several occasions--when Ella gets on her bike and rides it without my help, or that Haddie watches, smiles at, and laughs at Ella more than anyone else.  That they are really loving each other. Beautiful stuff. The stuff of life.