Dear Ella,
It was 9 years ago today that your daddy asked me on our first date. It was a Saturday afternoon, and he took me to Zilker park for a picnic. We laughed and made googly eyes at each other, and we each had moments of embarrassment and awkwardness. Something started that day--something that led us to you. When I got home, your grandmother asked me what I thought, and I said, "I think I'm going to marry him."
4 years ago today, that hope became a reality. Under the same tree, in the same park, your daddy asked if we could spend a lifetime together. I could imagine then only a bit of what a lifetime could encompass, and I could never imagine the love we would both feel when we met you.
God has blessed our life together in so many ways over the last 9 years, but you are, without a doubt, the biggest blessing. My prayer for you is two-fold: that you grow up knowing what great love looks like and that you seek it with all your heart. I pray for you to find a man who has a heart for God and a huge love for you; a man who keeps you safe and lets you fly. I pray for you to find someone who will love you and want for you all the things we want for you. But for now, I am thankful for your tiny hands and enormous spirit, and I'm thankful that life comes one day at a time.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Hands
Ella has finally found her thumb, which is a relief since she really never took to a pacifier. But it doesn't stop with a love for the thumb--Ella loves every finger on each hand equally. She spends hours throughout the day, between her naps, licking and toying with her hands, all the while having a glazed look of pure contentment on her face (similar to her "milk coma").
The best thing is that she doesn't just want her hands; she wants yours too. She wants everyone's hands in her mouth, all at once. Sometimes she chokes herself. And then she gets furious when you try to take her hands (the choking culprits) away from her mouth.
Two days ago, I had a soapy, soaking wet washcloth ready to bathe her with, and as I passed the washcloth past her mouth to wipe her neck, before I could be ready for it, Ella grabbed and ate the washcloth. Result: unhappy baby, very soapy mouth and nose. I, of course, got concerned about the soap inhalation. Hal told her not to do that again.
I'm still amazed that every week she learns more and more. It's happening at lightning speed these days. I feel like I come home from work to a different baby almost daily. So fun!!
Also, great news on the sleeping front: we didn't really even have to employ the cry-it-out method. Ella has had 5 nights now of going into her crib drowsy, almost asleep, waking up once during the night, and going straight back to sleep until 7. No more boppy sleeping, no more rocking until she's dead weight on my shoulder. She's such a big girl!
The best thing is that she doesn't just want her hands; she wants yours too. She wants everyone's hands in her mouth, all at once. Sometimes she chokes herself. And then she gets furious when you try to take her hands (the choking culprits) away from her mouth.
Two days ago, I had a soapy, soaking wet washcloth ready to bathe her with, and as I passed the washcloth past her mouth to wipe her neck, before I could be ready for it, Ella grabbed and ate the washcloth. Result: unhappy baby, very soapy mouth and nose. I, of course, got concerned about the soap inhalation. Hal told her not to do that again.
I'm still amazed that every week she learns more and more. It's happening at lightning speed these days. I feel like I come home from work to a different baby almost daily. So fun!!
Also, great news on the sleeping front: we didn't really even have to employ the cry-it-out method. Ella has had 5 nights now of going into her crib drowsy, almost asleep, waking up once during the night, and going straight back to sleep until 7. No more boppy sleeping, no more rocking until she's dead weight on my shoulder. She's such a big girl!
Monday, September 21, 2009
First overnight and some much-needed rest
On Saturday, we went to Dallas to visit my grandparents and so that Hal could go to the UFC fight that evening. Ella, Hal, my mom, and I all loaded up about half of the house (that's what you do when you have an infant) and headed off for our two-day excursion. Ella did beautifully the entire trip, even only waking up once that night in the hotel room. It was very strange to see her sleeping in a queen-sized bed all alone, surrounded by pillows at the edges of the bed, as if those would keep her safe in the event that, on this particular night, she learned to roll over multiple times--thankfully, she did not.
On the car ride back, she had a meltdown about 30 miles from home--the result of two days spent visiting with doting great-grandparents, many hours in the car, and staying in a new place. Poor thing, she was exhausted.
On top of that, Hal and I decided that last night, after we returned from our trip, was the first night we would implement the Denbar Sleep Trial Part One. To be brief, we were going to let Ella cry until she fell asleep, AFTER we had gone through the nightly routine (bath, swaddle, nursing, bed) and spent an appropriate amount of time snuggling and soothing her. This seemed impossible to me, but I just kept telling myself that getting her to sleep only to awaken as soon as she was put in her crib, and then having to fight that battle over and over was getting neither of us anywhere good. She wasn't getting good rest, and neither was I. I could tell she was overtired during the days, and I am a firm believer in allowing her the opportunity to learn to soothe herself and fall asleep on her own.
With that said, she was so tired after the trip that she went into her crib at 8:00 without protest, fussed for 4 minutes and then slept until 3:00 AM. She then went back in her crib around 3:20, after nursing, fussed on and off for 40 minutes and fell asleep until 7:00 AM. Now, this first attempt went well, I think, because of her complete exhaustion from the weekend. I hate that she was so tired that she couldn't put up a fight, but I didn't mind the sleep we all got for one second. I woke up to a happy, smiling, giggly girl this morning, and it was a perfect start to the day.
Next Up: Denbar Sleep Trial Part Two--Successfully Completing the Morning Nap
On the car ride back, she had a meltdown about 30 miles from home--the result of two days spent visiting with doting great-grandparents, many hours in the car, and staying in a new place. Poor thing, she was exhausted.
On top of that, Hal and I decided that last night, after we returned from our trip, was the first night we would implement the Denbar Sleep Trial Part One. To be brief, we were going to let Ella cry until she fell asleep, AFTER we had gone through the nightly routine (bath, swaddle, nursing, bed) and spent an appropriate amount of time snuggling and soothing her. This seemed impossible to me, but I just kept telling myself that getting her to sleep only to awaken as soon as she was put in her crib, and then having to fight that battle over and over was getting neither of us anywhere good. She wasn't getting good rest, and neither was I. I could tell she was overtired during the days, and I am a firm believer in allowing her the opportunity to learn to soothe herself and fall asleep on her own.
With that said, she was so tired after the trip that she went into her crib at 8:00 without protest, fussed for 4 minutes and then slept until 3:00 AM. She then went back in her crib around 3:20, after nursing, fussed on and off for 40 minutes and fell asleep until 7:00 AM. Now, this first attempt went well, I think, because of her complete exhaustion from the weekend. I hate that she was so tired that she couldn't put up a fight, but I didn't mind the sleep we all got for one second. I woke up to a happy, smiling, giggly girl this morning, and it was a perfect start to the day.
Next Up: Denbar Sleep Trial Part Two--Successfully Completing the Morning Nap
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Ella at 3 months
Now, after just posting a somewhat negative blog on sleep, I felt the need to post an uplifting blog on the wonder that is Ella. Over the last month, she has changed so much, and every new step is more fun than the last. Her colic finally subsided (thank God!), and she now smiles every day when Hal or I get home from work, and today she had her first official hard-core laugh. She's done lots of semi-giggles and "was-that-a-laugh?" noises, but as I walked through the door today and said hello to her, she gave a true laugh! It was the kind of laugh that said, "Oh, Mommy! Hi!" It melted my heart a good deal, and I spent the next two hours just playing with her and admiring how much she's grown and matured lately.
She is really coming into her own as a baby, and her personality comes out more and more every day. So far, we know she is determined and definitely knows what she wants. She doesn't have a medium cry. There are only two levels: "I'm-fine-but-not-as-good-as-I-could-be-if-you'd-give-me-what-I-want" and "all-hell-has-broken-loose". This does not surprise me. I figured that if she looked more like Hal, she at least had to have more of my personality. I'm enjoying watching her discover what it's like to be really frustrated, and also discover what it takes to soothe herself. She's come a long way in the last month...I think we all have. :-)
She is really coming into her own as a baby, and her personality comes out more and more every day. So far, we know she is determined and definitely knows what she wants. She doesn't have a medium cry. There are only two levels: "I'm-fine-but-not-as-good-as-I-could-be-if-you'd-give-me-what-I-want" and "all-hell-has-broken-loose". This does not surprise me. I figured that if she looked more like Hal, she at least had to have more of my personality. I'm enjoying watching her discover what it's like to be really frustrated, and also discover what it takes to soothe herself. She's come a long way in the last month...I think we all have. :-)
Sleep and dreams of sleep
About three weeks ago, I finally hit a wonderful milestone in this parenting journey: I gave up on getting any truly good sleep. It was liberating, believe it or not. Now, the truth is that, as I will explain in this blog, I want better sleep for Ella and me. HOWEVER, what I have come to accept is that it is going to take some more non-sleep to get to better sleep. And I'm willing to put in the man hours.
That's not to say that Ella is a horrible sleeper, but she doesn't sleep well. She's still waking up several times a night, at least two (last night it was 4), and around 4 AM she becomes a wiggle worm that can't calm back down unless she's sleeping on me. This has not bothered me over the last month and a half, until I realized that neither of us should be up and restless at 4 AM AND sleeping in a recliner, and I abruptly decided that she's old enough and I'm ready enough to sleep better. The final straw was when she woke up at 11:45 last night, cried enough for me to go in, and when I went into her room, she was just looking around, whining for Mommy to come spend some time with her.
Now, everyone has an opinion on how to make this sleep thing happen. A few I've heard are: do whatever it takes to get her to sleep, leave her completely alone and let her cry it out, do something in the middle like laying her down in her crib and just rubbing her back for 3 minutes and then leave the room. The list goes on and on. And I truly have no idea what to do.
So...I'm in the middle of reading the famed child-sleep book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", recommended by lots of people (too many to name) who seem to know about kids and sleep. So far, it has spent 170 pages describing how unfortunate it is to have a baby with colic (which we did) and how hard it is to get a post-colicky baby to sleep (which it is). I haven't been offended, but I can't say that I've been at all uplifted by this news. Interspersed in those 170 pages are lots of warnings about how the parents are the ones to make bad sleep habits for their post-colicky baby, not the baby herself. This is as far as I've gotten...no solution mentioned yet, although I think it's coming in the last 170 pages.
So, what I've decided is to make this my new project: getting Ella to sleep better. I'm going to try one new thing every few days or every week, making sure to give it time to sink in, and see if I can't solve the sleep problem. So far, I've been trying to put her down for three good naps a day, and last night I put her down for bed at 7:15 PM, earlier than normal. She woke up 4 times, but I'm giving it a few more days. After all, I've been liberated!
That's not to say that Ella is a horrible sleeper, but she doesn't sleep well. She's still waking up several times a night, at least two (last night it was 4), and around 4 AM she becomes a wiggle worm that can't calm back down unless she's sleeping on me. This has not bothered me over the last month and a half, until I realized that neither of us should be up and restless at 4 AM AND sleeping in a recliner, and I abruptly decided that she's old enough and I'm ready enough to sleep better. The final straw was when she woke up at 11:45 last night, cried enough for me to go in, and when I went into her room, she was just looking around, whining for Mommy to come spend some time with her.
Now, everyone has an opinion on how to make this sleep thing happen. A few I've heard are: do whatever it takes to get her to sleep, leave her completely alone and let her cry it out, do something in the middle like laying her down in her crib and just rubbing her back for 3 minutes and then leave the room. The list goes on and on. And I truly have no idea what to do.
So...I'm in the middle of reading the famed child-sleep book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", recommended by lots of people (too many to name) who seem to know about kids and sleep. So far, it has spent 170 pages describing how unfortunate it is to have a baby with colic (which we did) and how hard it is to get a post-colicky baby to sleep (which it is). I haven't been offended, but I can't say that I've been at all uplifted by this news. Interspersed in those 170 pages are lots of warnings about how the parents are the ones to make bad sleep habits for their post-colicky baby, not the baby herself. This is as far as I've gotten...no solution mentioned yet, although I think it's coming in the last 170 pages.
So, what I've decided is to make this my new project: getting Ella to sleep better. I'm going to try one new thing every few days or every week, making sure to give it time to sink in, and see if I can't solve the sleep problem. So far, I've been trying to put her down for three good naps a day, and last night I put her down for bed at 7:15 PM, earlier than normal. She woke up 4 times, but I'm giving it a few more days. After all, I've been liberated!
Monday, September 7, 2009
More sickness...
Just as we thought we were on the tail end of this cold, it flared up again--seemingly much worse this time. Previously, all Ella had was a little congestion. As of yesterday, after her 4 1/2 HOUR nap (which occurred after a night of practically no sleep), she woke up with major congestion, a cough, and had a slight fever this morning. She sounds miserable--I can only imagine how she is feeling if she is sounding the way she is. Hal and I, like all first-time parents, are miserable as well. We can't stand that she feels bad. Every time she coughs I worry about what gross germs are inside her causing her to be so sick. In retrospect, I'm sure I'll see that she was actually fine and that this illness will pass in a few days. In the thick of it, however, I'm beside myself. Why do these things always happen on a holiday or weekend? I'm pretty frustrated with Murphy and his stupid law.
Off to call the doctor, who told me to call if Ella developed a cough (like that meant something was not going well--that reference in particular is freaking me out at the moment!). Thank goodness for on-call doctors for anxious parents like me!
Off to call the doctor, who told me to call if Ella developed a cough (like that meant something was not going well--that reference in particular is freaking me out at the moment!). Thank goodness for on-call doctors for anxious parents like me!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sick, fussy, or other?
Ella and I are home today because she has had a nasty cold for a little over a week now. Lots of stuffiness, lots of fussiness, needing lots of comfort and holding--poor little girl. I'm only working half days, so it's not as difficult to call in sick to work as it would be if I were full time, but I still have to drive all the way to school to get everything ready for my sub, which is a real pain. Then, hopefully, we'll be off to the doctor to get her checked out before the weekend. I'm sure the doctor will tell me to keep doing what we've been doing: saline drops, humidifier, elevate her crib mattress, so we'll keep on keepin' on.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monkey
Ella has a new best friend, and his name is Monkey. He is one of the plush toys that came dangling from her activity gym. She discovered him several days ago, but it wasn't until I detached him and let her grab at him and play with him that she truly fell in amor. I mean, what's not to love about Monkey? First of all, he's brightly colored. Secondly, he lets her slobber all over him, and he never complains. Thirdly, he has one ear that never stays up (there's a word for that--the kind of ear that flaps down when it should stay up, but it's lost on me at the moment), so he just kinda looks like he's been through a lot...I like to think he's the outsider of the dangling animals from the gym, and Ella has a heart for the outcasts. Hal always says that I get overly defensive of people that can't defend themselves--like I make it my mission to defend them by employing my teacher stare and vicious rhetoric toward all those who seek to harm. My hope is that Ella has the same mission, but with maybe a slightly nicer tone. The thing that I love most about this new friendship is that Hal and my first nickname for Ella was Monkey, so they truly are kindred spirits. (Side note: we have since developed many more nicknames for Ella. Nicknames are my "thing", apparently. It started with Kaiser--Kaisey, Kooza, Kooza-Woo, and many more that probably just fell out of my mouth at different points. It has continued to our daughter--Monkey, Turtle, Ella Bella, Boo-ba, Baby Girl, etc. I probably sound a little nuts, but I think it adds flare to the day.)
Pictures to come of Ella and Monkey.
Pictures to come of Ella and Monkey.
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